Jumby is for families who want a bit of space but also a few whistles and a lot of child-friendly bells. MALLIOUHANA HOTELĪfter a seven-minute boat ride from Antigua airport, close your eyes and tumble into a quiet world of butter-soft beaches, gentle winds and a calm, calm ocean as warm as a bath. Very little is imported (just wine and cheese), so no steak or brown bread, but who cares when you have indigenous fish freshly caught by local fishermen, starfruit, papaya, coconut and chocolates made using the farm's cocoa beans? Yomp through the rainforest, pluck mangoes from the trees, laugh at the green vervet monkeys, drink in the views. The gorgeous guesthouses are plantation style, with four-poster beds, terraces, plunge pools, outdoor bathrooms (be careful not to tread on a frog when you go to the loo in the middle of the night) and fragrant products made with lemongrass from the resort's farm - where you can hang out or pick vegetables for your dinner. But pleasure has not been sacrificed for idealism. It was built by locals, most of the staff are local and the plan, eventually, is to make this the cultural hub of the island, where St Kitts can show the world its best self (and, naturally, be self-sustaining within five years). Created by Trinidadian entrepreneur Val Kempadoo, it sits between the rainforest of Mount Liamuiga and the calm turquoise of the sea. Which is what makes Belle Mont Farm such an absolute inspiration. We know that comfort can be costly - and not just financially, but also socially and environmentally. There's also a yacht, Xanadu, for sun-soaked lounging on the padded foredeck before you chug back to a dockside bar at sunset and sip a totally tropical rum punch to the sound of a steel-drum band. The French chef will whip up tropical-fruit sorbets in the open-air Bali House, Moroccan feasts on the beach at night or suppers served on the BIGGEST SOFA EVER in front of your favourite movie. The smiley staff have been there for years, along with the palm-fringed pool, immaculate tennis courts and jungly garden with its winding paths, darting lizards and warbling pearly-eyed thrashers. This Eighties-built private estate on juicy little Virgin Gorda has been spruced but not smoothed out of recognition (retrotastic tiles in all the bathrooms), and you feel like you're staying with (very generous) friends. It's fabulous - big enough to run laps, leaving footprints in the deep-pile rugs as you go, with wide-open views of the gin-clear Caribbean and a bathtub fit to fulfil all your Pretty Woman fantasies. Then scamper upstairs and bag the master suite. But it won't be an issue in the future, because next time I'll be sure to make sandwiches at home and find my own waterfront view elsewhere for a picnic lunch.First things first: be first. It was a little chaotic for us, though, since the place was so busy. Some may like that system, as you can choose precisely where you want to sit. The first time guest might also like to know that the restaurant operates on a "find your own table" system. Perhaps it was just a staffing issue today. She tried to be attentive to our needs, but was just overwhelmed with the high volume of people in the restaurant at that time. I do want to clarify that our server was very sweet. Another clue that the kitchen staff wasn't on par is that my fish and my mother's fish came without lemon wedges the wedges were served with my children's grilled cheese sandwiches instead. My coleslaw container was just half full, and I had only 8 fries in the basket. But another location probably wouldn't have been so skimpy on the fries and coleslaw. I could have eaten the same sandwich in any bar in the U.S. It was a large cut of fish, and it was most likely grouper, but it wasn't worth the $13 price. He called it "The Bait Basket." I ordered the grouper sandwich. The grouper in my father's basket was not the fillet he expected, but a handful of small fried pieces of fish. Those in the party that ate the oysters remarked that they tasted old. My husband's cod was cold, and my sister-in-law couldn't even finish her meal. I can normally forgive a long wait for good food, but not this time. We ate quickly, but again had to wait for the check and payment. We entered the restaurant around 12:30 and ordered relatively quickly, but our food didn't arrive until 2:00. We were hoping for a quick bite so we could enjoy our last afternoon in Punta Gorda on the water.
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